A picnic to heaven:part3

Previously on part two:

                

We continued staring at each for a few moments, until I felt something gliding down my nose and cheek. A tear. Not mine but his.

Is he crying because he's not ready to be a father? Or could those be tears of happiness?

Part three:

"Shh Jack, everything will be fine. We'll be a great family, Love." 

I used my thumb to dry away his tears, but he didn't even react his face was completely emotionless.

"Julie..."

"Julie, you have to end this pregnancy" 

He said sternly turning to walk away.

That's classic Jack. Walking away at every obstacle he can’t face.

"But why?! This is our child!" I murmured, to hide the crack in my voice as tears began clouding my vision.

"I’ve made up my mind. Do it as soon as possible or else we're over." He scowled and walked away.

…

Have you ever felt an immense burning in your chest; you can feel the blood rushing through you and your veins pulsing. All whilst your tears are attempting to escape the confines of your eyes?

Do you know what it is to want to retreat and getaway? To take a break from the life you’re leading and your surroundings, the naïve desire to start fresh with no mistakes and no regrets? A second chance, to redo it all but this time to make the right choices?

…

I wanted to understand it, to realize what just happened.What was I supposed to do? The screams were welling up within me, how could he do this? He had always wanted a child and now that it is happening he's giving up? He had always supported me. Now I have no one to count and rely on, I have no one to return to.

After a month of sleepless nights and contemplation, I decided to keep the baby. 

And as for Jack, he can leave; I'm not willing to end this pregnancy and kill my unborn baby.I finally accepted the reality I was living and knew that although I lost the man I truly loved I still have something that will always remind me of him and the beautiful times we spent together. He may have abandoned me but I will never abandon the memory of us.  

Four months later…

I was not expecting this. He has returned, knocking at my doorstep with a bouquet of my favorite flowers in his hand apologizing for what he had done.But all I could think of was, why now? What changed?I was shattered into pieces and left alone for five months.I’m sorry, but I was lost for some time but I grew and learned how to live without you. 

"Jack, you made it clear that we are over. You were never here when I needed you the most. You weren't here to tell me that everything will be fine, to tell me that we will live happily together.You let me go to all the appointments alone and weren’t around when I found out the gender of the baby.I was alone through every up and down. You simply weren't here when I needed someone, when I needed you."

A picnic to heaven:part2

Previously: 

I took a gaze into the sky, giggling as the clouds looked like resembled cotton-candy which gave me the urge to eat them. 

I heard faint footsteps walking towards me. He's here.

Cold fingers covered my dark blue eyes, turning my vision of the heaven above into complete darkness. "Guess who sunshine?" 

Part two:

You are the sun that brightens my day,

You are the gravity that holds me down in every way,

You are the moon that shimmers in the night,

You are stars that glimmer so bright,

You are the reason I am alive,

You are my heart that beats inside,

You are the blood that flows within me,

You are the only one I see…you are my everything… you are my one and only…you are my true love.

"Jackyyyy!" I exclaimed excitedly.

I could feel his warm breaths tickling the nape of my neck, teasing my heartbeats. I suddenly felt a soft peck on my lips. Oh, those lips I miss most. 

"Jack I can't see you." 

He removed his hands, as I turned to look at him I saw a vision of true beauty…

…

Nature can bring a tremendous amount of beauty into our lives. It has a way of affecting our state of mind and it can subconsciously provoke us to change our plans.

Nature is everything; it is the sun, clouds, rain, and snow. When it shines bright outside, we are blessed with a sense of delight and joy. When clouds fill the sky and rain pours down, we often feel gloomy. As the night takes over, the sky above develops into a beautiful and starry canvas.The moonlight makes us feel extremely romantic.

Clouds, they resemble large fluffs of cotton. I could simply lie here all day, and watch them drift by. For those with a vivid imagination, you can see various images in the cloud formations. It’s simply wondrous. 

Stars, beautifully plastered onto the sky, illuminating it with a sparkly shine.

If you were to ask me to define beauty, I will surely say "A night sky with blazing stars."

They never stop glowing and just like them our love will never die.

…

"Jack! Imma tell you something really important babe."

I stated, giving him a big smile.

"Spell it gorgeous, what's up?"

He embraced me within his loving arms and rested his chin on my head. 

"Umm jack..."

I couldn't get myself to say it out loud, I just couldn't. 

"Julie...?"

His facial expression changed from blissful to curious. 

"You're going to be a father." 

In that moment his relaxed composure turned stiff. I could no longer feel his deep breaths perhaps he is in shock? 

-Jack’s point of view-

"You're going to be a father" 

I'm going to be a father is that really what I heard? We'll be granted a child… Our child? Julie can’t be pregnant. I must be dreaming.How could there be a baby growing inside her? A human; my baby, my very own child.

 I could neither utter a word nor express my emotions, it was simply indescribable. So I let the silence grow.

I gathered my thoughts and finally spoke:

"Julie!"

She turned to look at me, her face a mixture of emotions I could not comprehend.

"Yes honey?"  She whispered with her softened tone. 

I wrapped my arms around her. Enveloping her ever so tightly,knowing what was to become of us and unwilling to let go. 

-Julie's point of view- 

His long warm hugs are my favorite; I can never get enough of his smell, truly a glimpse of heaven’s scent. If only I could stay in his arms forever. 

He backed away, and cupped my face in his hands. Inching closer to my face and gazing deeply into my eyes. I gazed back and fell in love once more with his coffee colored eyes.

We continued staring at each for a few moments, until I felt something gliding down my nose and cheek. A tear. Not mine but his.

Is he crying because he's not ready to be a father? Or could those be tears of happiness?

A picnic to heaven:part1

The breeze sent chills along my spine as it slowly tickled the back of my neck, it played with my long golden hair just the way he did. Leaves rustled as the wind pushed against them and the small trees swayed back and forth, the calm waves danced slowly with the rocks and the beautiful flowers rested elegantly around my head. The view before me was beyond perfection. 

I took a gaze into the sky, giggling as the clouds looked like resembled cotton-candy which gave me the urge to eat them. 

I heard faint footsteps walking towards me. He's here.

Cold fingers covered my dark blue eyes, turning my vision of the heaven above into complete darkness. "Guess who sunshine?" 

How can I not know who you were my beloved one? 

I remember...

"I remember the first time you talked to me, I wasn't sure what to do. No one ever talked to me the same way you did. This was something different, but something good.

I remember the texts you've sent me, It made me realize someone cared, that I wasn't completely alone, and that if I left this world someone would know.

I remember the first time I felt jealousy,

the feeling was foreign, something new, a blinding anger that made no sense. I wanted it gone and the other girl too. All along I knew I was better for you, I tried turning my anger by ridding myself of you. The attempts were less than half hearted, even then you were the best thing I had.

The first time you held my hand, I was nervous, ashamed and wondering how much I really meant to you, but then that simple gesture stopped my shaking, made me smile through fear.

You could make anything better.

I remember the first time I started to love you.

It was another new feeling, but it came so naturally. You helped me through everything you were always there. 

I remember the first time I started to trust you. It was the strangest feeling you had yet to give.

I told you my secrets, my past. You never left me like I thought you would.

You will stand by me through it all.

I remembered the first hug we had,

I was shocked and those butterflies that killed my stomach, and that smile that didn't fade away that day.

I remembered the first time you told me I'm beautiful and it was so different from you. You promised to never try to hurt me, you don't know what that meant to me, It made me love you even more.

It is such a beautiful and amazing thing to know,

That you''ll never hurt me

Remember all the firsts and the lasts.

I know we will have more if you spend forever with me.

I'll do anything to keep you, I'll never let you go."

It was all in his voice

Speak to me in those warm tones of elegance that only you possess 

How I love to hear your voice in all its magnitude 

It comforts me on my lonely days of inner reflection 

It brings me hope for a greater day 

When I hear you regulate the tones I am in a trance I am captivated by every sentence you speak 

I listen to your words intently at its rhythm 

It warms me on a cold day and cools me off in the heat 

How I love just to hear you speak to me 

I would give it all away just to hear your words 

Such satisfying sounds swings me back and forth in a dizzy dance 

I lose my footing every time you speak 

It is not just your words but the beauty within that captivates me so 

I save all your messages to hear plaid over and over again 

They are melodious songs that bring forth the light of a new day 

They are enchanting as you are in life 

No words spoken could explain the grace and charm of your voice 

Each time you speak I have died a thousand times 

With each word I am sent heaven bound 

Your voice takes me places only imagined in dreams 

Paradise once lost is found in your voice 

Let it be known that there is no other like you 

I am compelled to a higher ground 

Your expressions are like the wind in my sails that sets me free 

I cannot place no other above you 

Each time you speak I have died a thousand times, with each word I am sent heaven bound, your voice takes me places only imagined in dreams 

Paradise once lost is found in your voice. Your voice is all I ever need to hear in life, your ability to speak brings shivers up and down my spine It has the greatest influence over my body. If I should ever fall and stricken deaf, your voice would remain reverberating in my heart 

It would be the last sounds I would want to hear. 

Your name would be the last sound spoken from my lips 

"It was all in your voice."

It's heaven in her eyes

I looked deeply into her eyes, she got the brightest eyes I've ever stared in, her eyes were a soft washed out green, like a favorite sweater that's been washed many times. the kind that melts you up, the kind of eyes you feel comfort when you gaze in, the kind that let me feel under lock and key, the kind that goes through a lot but never shows, the kind that has a story behind that was never told, the kind that blow your thoughts away, the kind that have an incredible magic, the kind that takes you to another world.

A world full of happiness, peace, laughter and joy, the kind that drives you tongue-tied.

I looked meticulously to sink into the glamour of her eyes.

Am I lost? 

I'm lost into her eyes,

I'm lost and I don't know the way back,

I'm lost and I don't want to go back

because, it feels like heaven here.

It is heaven.

It was always heaven in her eyes

Someone special

We all humans, meet a person that will change our whole life, our thoughts and routine. A person who'll fill our days with happiness and craziness, who'll love us like no one else, who'll accept us for who we are, who'll never judge us, who'll love every detail in us, who'll care about us, who'll advice us, who'll lead us to the right path, who'll make us feel so special. 

Some people take time to find the right person but sooner or later they will because, we all have someone special in our lives, when you're not around them, there's something missing and when you guys stop talking it feels so different, a weird feeling. When you guys fight it aches, and everything sucks. You feel lonely and broken because you thought you'll always be together. And on that horrible day, your happiness left. Everything seems weird, your feelings and people too. You start to get frustrated on silly stuff that doesn't matter and feel really down and that you'll break down in any second. Memories float on your mind, your daily chats, the cute morning/night texts, everything about you both. Seconds feel like minutes and minutes feel like hours without the person you love, day passes by so slow and you feel "lost".

It all seems like a nightmare and all you wish for is to wake up and everything fades away like a blink of an eye. But unfortunately, everything is real. They're gone and you have to accept this fact because "nothing last forever."

But, Someday someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you've never seen, they'll look at you like you're everything they've been looking for their entire lives.

Just wait for it.